People Walking With Umbrellas

Umbrella available at www.artlebedev.com.

This is a two-pronged rant.

1) I hate people who walk with an open umbrella and don't watch where they are going.
It's raining. And you don't want to get wet. Okay, we all get that. You pop open an umbrella--it may not be one of those stupidly large beach umbrellas, it might just be an average sized umbrella. Now perhaps it's because you have weak or teensy tiny arms, but you are unable to lift the umbrella very high over your head - whatever the reason, you have it wedged down atop your skull.
Perhaps you are also cutting off the blood supply to your brain--regardless, by clamping the umbrella onto yourself, you have also effectively cut off your sight lines in front of you.
This means you are going to walk into someone walking towards you. That someone has been me on more than several occasions.
Because YOU don't care about anyone other than yourself, myself and other quick-thinking persons have to quickly move our heads to the side to avoid being stuck in the face by those pokey things on your umbrella.
You don't care.
However, when you and another like-minded umbrella-wielding vision impaired maniac meet,  the ensuing carnage from your umbrellas interlocking is always amusing. Good thing I still have both my eyes to witness your idiotic downfall.
  
2) I hate people walking with a closed umbrella but swinging it horizontally in their fist.
I'm not talking about the umbrella twirler who thinks he/she could be the next Charlie Chaplin--that was funny 90 years ago when he did it, but you look like an idiot now.
Rather, I'm talking about the idiot striding through the crowd with the pointy end of the umbrella always pointing towards someone's crotch or butt. My crotch or butt, for example.
What is wrong with these people? Just because it's raining, is no reason to become even more stupid than you usually are. You'd think that because 60% to 70% of the human body is made up water, that maybe the brain would get smarter with the additional deluge. Sadly, that isn't true, and I wouldn't be left doubled over from a clip to the cajones.
Okay... I've never been hit there by an umbrella (Man! I need some wood to knock!), but that's only because I pay attention to my surroundings and the fact that there are more people than are dreamt of in your world, Horatio (to badly paraphrase another Shakespearean line).

This whole stupidity with people being unable to work with a $0.99 article in public has got me dreading raining days.

I hate umbrella people who have no concept of working well with others. Idiots.