Hyphen-Canadians

You know what I hate? It's hyphen-Canadians, though I suppose you could make a pitch for whatever nationality you wish.
What is a hyphen-Canadian? It's someone who says they are: Italian-Canadian; Indian-Canadian; German-Canadian even French-Canadian... or again, pick your country and add a hyphen before Canadian.
It's someone who is afraid to be simply a Canadian.
To me, that's just wrong.
I love Canada. As a visible minority, people often look at me and see everything except that I am Canadian. It's why when I am asked what I am, I always say I am a Canadian.
I was born in England to Indian (dot not the feather) parents, but moved to Canada when I was still three-years-old. As such, I have little in common with England - except I love Monty Python, British humour in general and have a respect for the monarchy. I also love football (soccer) and cheer for them in the World Cup.
India? While I may look like I'm from India, I've never been there. I don't speak any of the dialects or languages. I don't really hate or love the cuisine.
I am not Indian or English, no matter how hard I try or am told I am.
I am Canadian.
And perhaps because of that, I hate people who say they are Canadian but add the hyphen.
I know many people who have, when asked, state they are "Italian-Canadian", as an example. Really? Were you born there? No, they tell me. Where were you born? Canada.
Okay... but what is always the most damning thing is when I ask if they have ever been to their supposed country of origin, and they tell me "No." So how the fargging hell are you Italian or Hungarian or Dutch or Japanese?
It's like people are afraid to admit they are Canadian! It pisses me off!
The United States of America - love it or hate it - may have a lot of countries around the world hate it - but I'll tell you one thing... they are Americans first and foremost. And for that, they have my utmost respect.
Okay... the U.S. does try and differentiate itself with the African-American moniker, just like Canada has French-Canadians... but I hate the African-American term. It presupposes that all Blacks in the U.S. are African.
Don't give me that crap that Blacks are at one point in time from Africa, because by that same token, everyone on the planet is originally from Africa... unless you are a Creationist - and I'm sure you have an explanation - please share... I'd like to learn.
But really, no Black American when asked what nationality they are is going to say they are African-American - they will answer with pride that they are American!
The Japanese are proud of their country. The Germans and French are too.
Why not Canadians? Why do we have to be stupid hyphen-Canadians?
Canada has long been called a melting pot, where people from other countries are welcome. And Canada is like that, but it sure isn't a melting pot! This melting pot doesn't actually have a lot of melting going on.
I'm unsure who created the term "Hyphen-Canadian" - it could have been me, I've been using it for 30 years to bitch about people afraid to be Canadian, but it wasn't.
You know what I hate?
Hyphen-Canadians

Weathermen

Over-compensating or what...

You know what I hate?
I hate weathermen. Weatherwomen. Weathergirls. Weatherboys. Meteorologists. Whether or not it’s going to rain or not.
Hmm… I just got that… weather and whether.
A typical weekday has me getting up early to get my son ready for daycare and senior kindergarten… and of course me ready for work, which is a form of kindergarten.
Because it’s Autumn, I like to check the weather to see how he and I should be dressed.
I flick on CP24, a Toronto all-day news station and lo and behold – they say it’s going to rain. I flip to the Weather Network (because well, the network is all about weather - it's the one thing they are supposed to do well) and that today's Toronto forecast is cloudy – but no rain!
Who's right? Who's wrong?
How does one dress? It’s supposed to be 18C – so it’s not exactly freezing! But do I need to dress my boy in a raincoat and rain boots – meaning he’ll be safe from the wet stuff; or do I dress him as though it’s a warmish day, running shoes and no rain coat… so he can run around at recess and have fun?
I chose the latter… it’s the Weather Network, after all.
After dropping him off at daycare, I head home and prep for a trip I need to make for a magazine interview – which is lucky, otherwise I’d drop him off and immediately head for work in downtown Toronto.
With an hour before I need to leave, it begins as I arrive back from the daycare. And not just a spit or dribble, but a full deluge that would have had Noah shaking in his sandals.
So… how can the Weather Network get the weather so wrong? I go back in and check the station… they are STILL showing it to be a rain-free day, even while I am toweling off.
Because I had some time today, I was still able to drive back to my son’s daycare with the appropriate clothing and footwear – no thanks to the weathermen.
You know…  should I actually be so inept at my job – being incorrect several times a week, I’d be fired and be looking for work in a new profession! How do these so-called weather professionals keep their job? Is it going to rain or not? Is it raining or not? If I stick my head out the window, chances are pretty good I can tell if it’s raining at this very moment or not.
I’ve watched the weather on these two stations repeatedly – no one is more correct than the other…. Though both have managed to get it completely wrong at the same time.
I know weather prediction is not an exact science – but what science are they using? My slightly arthritic knee is a more accurate predictor of rain than whatever doppler radar system used by the so-called professionals.
So… even while weathermen (and women) have a 50:50 chance of being correct, or conversely incorrect, it’s still a better percentage (okay - ratio!) than say a baseball player: hitters are gods if they succeed 30 per cent of the time, while a pitcher must succeed about 75 per cent of the time – not that has anything to do with anything.
But it does make me wish I had a job where I only need to be accurate 50 per cent of the time – and NOT get called onto the wet carpet should I not even make that percentage.

You know what I hate? Phony-baloney weather people who can’t even tell me if it’s going to rain – even when it’s raining.