About Me

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Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Andrew was born in London, UK, raised in Toronto, Canada, and cavorted in Ohtawara, Japan for three years. He is married, has a son, a cat named Freddy and a dog named Shaggy (after the dudes in Scooby-Doo). He has over 35,000 comic books and a plethora of pioneer aviation-related tobacco and sports cards and likes to build LEGO dioramas. Along with writing for a monthly industrial magazine, he also writes comic books and hates writing in the 3rd person. He also hates having to write this crap that no one will ever read. He also writes an aviation blog: Pioneers Of Aviation ( https://av8rblog.wordpress.com/ ) - a cool blog on early fliers. He also wants to do more writing - for money, though. Help him out so he can stop talking in the 3rd person.

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Driving In Toronto

Do you know what I hate?

It's driving in Toronto.

Image above: @BlueBunnyBlog/Twitter from November 19, 2014 - Avenue Road, Toronto. 

I'm a good driver. I don't have any tickets, I don't swerve in and out of traffic. I will let cars change lanes in front of me if they are signaling to do so. I drive the speed limit and even more if that is what traffic around me dictates - keeping up without being stoopid.

I even keep my car in good shape, topped up - thanks Kelly's Garage in Etobicoke - tires filled… I even clean off the snow from my car so that it doesn't blow all over the cars behind me… you know… because I don't want to be an a$$shole.

Also… I don't (no longer) drive excessively fast… not that I could even if I wanted to.

Welcome to Toronto… a supposedly world-class North American city that now - infamously - has longer traffic commutes than even the oft-parodied Los Angeles.

Yeah… next time you see Hollywood or TVLand make fun of the pains of driving in LA, just know that it's worse in Toronto.

Plus we have snow.

Now.. we don't have as much snow in Toronto as say… Buffalo… or Minnesota - just two examples that come to mind… in fact, I wonder if we even have as much snow as Boston, Chicago or New York… you star athletes keep that in mind when choosing your destination - I'm talking to you NBA players! yeah… I'd rather play in Miami or someplace warm, too. Wimps.

I don't mind the cold. It's 24F this day, and I'm not wearing a sweater and I'm still wearing my spring jacket. It's Toronto and it's not really that bad yet.

Yesterday evening - Wednesday, November 20, 2014 - it was a nice brisk day… I went for a drive at lunch - just around the block because sometimes one has to clear the mind. No snow on the ground… nothing.

But… by 4PM, snow had fallen. Big whoop, I thought. How bad could it be?

Snow wise - no big deal… maybe two inches (five centimeters) - maybe three inches (7.5 cm).

Maybe.

I left work at 4:15PM.

I essentially drive on Highway 401 (4-lane), get off at Highway 409 (3-lane) (grand total of 20.5 kilometers), exit onto Martingrove Road (2 and then 1-lane) and drive the remaining seven or so kilometers to my house.

It's 27.5 kilometers. Not much.

Back in 1999 I first worked in the very same area (one street over).

Travel times (average):
1999: 20 minutes
2014: 40 minutes
November 19, 2014: 3 hours and five minutes. Yes… 185 minutes.

Take into account that the last bit of that ride - the 7.5 kilometers was done on city streets and only took about 15 minutes.

That means it took 170 minutes to drive 20 kilometers.

I'm not even going to talk about my bladder, suffice to say I did painfully walk up the stair of my house to get there in time.

Granted we had our first snowfall in Toronto - for fer crissakes it was only 5 centimeters (2-inches)!!!!!!

Look at the photo above... that was last night... not even any accumulation on the vehicles. 

I can't even blame construction - which is constant activity to prep for the games… Commonwealth? Pan Am? Whatever…

Olympics and World Championships… the rest is just a cash grab. You aren't even up against the best global athletes in many cases at events like the Pan Am Games or Commonwealth Games.

There were no accidents along my route. It was just traffic. 

Now… there was a salting truck on Highway 401 going westbound - but it was salting the shoulder.

I don't blame it… there was no need to salt the four-lane highway because there were NO snowplows doing their job - at least not in front of us.

Why should snowplows be on the road? It had only been snowing for three hours by the time I left work. Why would our already snarled highways need to be shoveled for the completely incorrectly termed "rush hour" commute.

We've elected a new mayor, but he doesn't take over for a while...

We still have another mayor, but he's in name only as he had most of his powers stripped away BEFORE the election owing to personal misconduct.

I don't even effing know who to complain to about the snowplow thing.

It doesn't matter.

The more things change, the more they remain the same.

Oh… It IS the Pan Am Games? When is it? July 2015? Good. Construction might ease up a bit by then… then again there might be more crowds (might)… but surely they will all take our superior city transportation system known as the TTC.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Sorry… I couldn't even type that with a straight face.

I still love Toronto for some reason but…

Don't move to Toronto.

Do you know what I hate?

Plenty of things, but let's stay on topic.

I hate…

Driving in Toronto.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

People Who Don't Understand Halloween Rules

Do you know what I hate?

People who don't understand Halloween rules.

(Photo above by Sandro Mancino, clearly shows a house that likes and understands Halloween.)

I'm not talking about the folks who either don't have any more candy to give out, or don't have the funds to blow on candy, or simply don't believe in it - that's your right.

What pisses me off are people who don't follow the known Halloween rules.

Look... I know that there are no written down rules for Halloween - unless some dumb author has created some... but really, it's a tradition where kids walk around in a costume, ring a doorbell or knock and scream out: "Trick or Treat!" The door opens, treats are given out. Kids say thank-you and then check out what they got before moving on to the next house. Kids don't do tricks anymore - at least not usually.

Now... if you are new to the country from a place where Halloween isn't done - that's cool... you just don't know how things work...

How do the kids know which houses to go to for the treats?

First off... as a former kid, we used to have an unofficial grapevine where kids would go out with buddies and talk to other kids - strangers - and find out which house was giving away cans of pop or popcorn balls or the best candies. It was always worth the hike to find a house that gave away cream soda - not the pink stuff, but rather the clear or so-called white variety! Parents stayed home and doled out candy and were only seen on the street with kids under the age of 7. Maybe.

You hit every house on the street because every house on the street participated and you'd end up with three garbage bags filled with candy and a surefire bellyache and dentist visit later.  

Now... it's different. Not everyone participates... so how do you know which places have treats?

1) Well... you don't bother the houses with the lights off. That's a rule. That house has decided to not participate in Halloween... or they had to go out somewhere - fair enough. At least they are telling you not to bother them and are saving the kids some time.

2) The outside lights are on at a house. That's a rule. That house has candy. Go and do your quasi-legal begging.

3) You have a pumpkin outside your door. That's a rule. That house is into Halloween and will supply you with candy. Outside lighting is optional.

Which brings me to what happened this evening, as two dads, a mom, a grandfather and I paraded our kids around the cold and wet streets of suburban Toronto - Shaver North in Etobicoke. An area I have lived in for over 40 years... and I can tell you that it is a pretty damn White and affluent area... and everybody knows what Halloween is... and you can participate or not participate as you choose. 

The second house we visited - the second - had a large pumpkin sitting outside the front door. Lights were on in the very visible living room, but the front lights were NOT on.

Still... the pumpkin outside is an invitation for kids to come and ply their trick or treating on the members of the household.

After the kids ran up and rang the door bell... we waited 10 seconds... no one came to the door... but we did see two middle-aged people inside come up to the living room windows right beside the front door and lower and then close the Venetian blinds!

What complete a-holes!

Why sucker little kids in by showcasing the very large pumpkin outside the front door and then tell everyone via the window blinds, that you aren't interested in Halloween?

What's with the damn pumpkin?!

Was it just for decoration?

Why? You obviously don't care about Halloween, because you chose not to participate in the fattening of the children.

So why purchase a pumpkin and place it outside the door?

Vanity? you suck.

If my kid wasn't there, I would have egged your place myself. Or stolen or destroyed the pumpkin you obviously don't deserve. 

You don't fug around with kid's emotions. Get with the program! Learn the rules of, in this case, Halloween! Ignorance of the rules, as the police will tell you about various things, is no excuse.

Do you know what I hate?

People who don't understand Halloween rules.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Rogers Telecommunications

Do you know what I hate?

I hate Rogers Telecommunications.

Yeah - it could be about how their Toronto Blue Jays baseball team disappointed me yet again in 2014 - but no...

I am extremely disappointed with my so-called Rogers telecommunications experience.

I was a Rogers employee for a number of years, and enjoyed a Rogers employee discount of 50% off on such items as baseball tickets, internet, TV and telephone, but didn't whine about losing it after my magazine was sold off by Rogers a few years ago to another company whom I currently enjoy working for.

I'm a pretty loyal guy.

I have always been a staunch supporter of the Rogers brand - having personally been helped by then-owner and president Ted Roger's secretary in a time of need - which sucks that I needed to use her aid when standard customer service should have sufficed.

Other ways the family is connected historically include: my father-in-law being invited to come and talk with Ted Rogers over a book he wrote on Reginald Fessenden; and my wife's great aunts both used to babysit Ted's dad, Edward, back in the turn of the last century.

So - I like Rogers... but lately, it's been a grind.

I have had no resolution on an e-mail of mine that no longer works properly - being blocked by others... since February of 2014.

I was called in March 2014 by Rogers offering me great deals that would save me lots of money and speed up my Internet - thereby reducing my monthly bill... but a fire alarm hit the call center and despite promising to call back, no one ever did.

My most recent call in was regarding my television signal cutting out. It did this in the summer of 2013 too, when a technician came out and changed the wires.

This time, no one suggested a technician, only that it was going to be looked at... right.... when? I have no proof that it was.

But what was particularly galling was the fact that I followed the Rogers technical advice left on the phone while I awaited a chat with the company... so I tried to reboot my system... unfortunately, at that time my Rogers PVR box began to fail and reboot itself and reboot itself...

The tech said I might need a new PVR box (which I now need to have my television work to receive all those 500+ wonderful channels I pay for), but it does appear as though my television signal is strong - their thought being that since the signal was strong, the PVR box might be the issue as to why my television signal would cut out and become garbled. Fine. My issue is not with the tech.

She suggested I might want talk to a Rogers Customer Service rep... to see if they could help me out.

I own my TV PVR box. I bought it a few years ago with a Christmas bonus from work and used my Rogers 50% employee discount - which was the only way I could actually afford to purchase such a PVR box. I own it.

I understand that things break... but five years? That's it? That sucks... I mean brand new that PVR box cost $500 (not including any discounts).

I was polite with the Rogers Customer Service rep I talked to and she, though terse, was also polite.

Basically, she said I need to purchase a new PVR box.

Well, guess what? I don't have $500 to spend on this. I could rent one, but I don't have the money to add to my bill. I simply don't.I informed her of my financial quandary.

Basically, I was looking for (asking) Rogers to take some responsibility for providing customers with unsatisfactory equipment for a large cost that does not work effectively for a long time... the fact that Rogers only has a 2-year warranty on the product implies that Rogers doesn't believe it to last much longer than that.  

I wanted that Rogers Customer Service rep to make me an offer of some sort of aid - but none was offered - just the silent 'boo-hoo, buy a new PVR box' telepathy offered by her.

No one is saying the equipment a customer purchases to make the service you provide need work forever... but when it fails, perhaps some customer service... some actual care for the customer would be nice - and not just lip service, but an actual thoughtful solution that won't break the customer's bank.

I have been contacted numerous times by Bell, and have been offered a rate that is pretty close to the 50% discount I previously enjoyed as part of the Rogers family. And yet I have not gone over. I nearly did thanks to the uncaring sales rep - which might not be her fault, as I am sure it is possible she was 'just following orders.' Yup - the telecommunications industry is heil (sp).

After mentioning to the Rogers Customer Service rep that Bell had made overtures to me with excellent deals, the Rogers Customer Service rep volunteered to help me change over to Bell - there was no fight in her - 'no please don't go'... 'no let me see how we can keep you as a loyal customer because we understand that not every Rogers customer is a rich baseball player'.

No... none of that was offered... it was just, 'let me transfer you over to someone who can help you leave Rogers.'

So she did just that. She transferred me over to the disconnection section of Rogers Telecommunications.

The wait time, I was informed by a recorded message was 20-minutes before I would be able to talk to someone.

It's sad that there are that many people trying to leave Rogers... or that they even have to wait that long to leave.

Hey Rogers - do you really want to know how my Rogers experience is?

No one at Rogers fights to keep me as a customer. No one fights for me to stay... and when I do try to leave, they tell me I have to wait 20 minutes before even that can be begun to be accomplished.

I hung up. I have work to do.

I mean... all told... if I hung around the requested 20 more minutes... I might have wasted some four hours of my life in 2014 trying to resolve issues or trying to receive some imaginary cost-savings... which is funny, because my time is worth $125 an hour. At least.

It's many months later as I complete this essay (I began it moments after talking to the curt Rogers Customer Service rep - and no one from Rogers has ever dared to call me again to make me an offer I can't refuse. No one has ever called back to tell me my e-mail issues are resolved.

Yeah - I know they don't have to offer me any help whatsoever with regards to a new PVR box for my television. But it would have been nice if they had been human about it.

Oh yeah - all these months later... that same PVR box seems to be working just fine. So it wasn't the PVR box that was the problem, though there is still the occasional seconds-long garbled signal on the TV.

Rogers tried to get me to pay $500 or whatever it costs now for a new PVR box... or what... pay a monthly rental fee for a NEW PVR box - when obviously I didn't need one.

Rogers never adequately resolved the Television issue for me - the PVR box I own is in remission on its own, or the television signal took some steroids even though I was previously told it was strong enough.

Rogers never resolved my e-mail issues. Not only did they never call me regarding their handling of it - my phone number and OTHER e-mail account was always given, but they would claim they resolved it, shut down the ticket (complaint project) - not actually checking with me to see if it WAS resolved to my satisfaction.

It never was... and I had to open up I think four (for sure) or five tickets to try and resolve the problem after all other tickets were closed by Rogers prematurely.

I still am unable to properly send and receive emails with one of my e-mail accounts - one I have used for about five years until this past February for one of my writing businesses.

Rogers never called me again to provide me with the once-offered cost savings for my TV, Telephone and Internet. I guess the fire alarms must be ringing so loudly at Rogers that they must have had their Bell rung.

And NO - I don't want to bundle in any wireless telephone for more cost-savings because I don't have a wireless telephone. This WAS asked of me during a couple of times I called in - I realize you have to ask, but...

No - I don't want a wireless telephone form Rogers because - haven't you been listening?! - I can't afford one. Certainly not after losing my Rogers 40% employee discount. Besides... who would I call? Certainly not Rogers Customer Service!

In short, Rogers has failed in its customer service.

So... who wants to make me a better offer? Yes... I'm still with Rogers... it's that damn loyalty thing.

Do you know what I hate?

I hate Rogers Telecommunications. There... you made me say it. I don't like saying it... but dammit... you just don't care about me - the customer.

I will say, however, that Rogers is pretty damn quick to contact you should not make a bill payment. So someone knows how to do their job. Hey... they need the money to pay for all the hockey and baseball... I guess Rogers likes its games.

People... feel free to write in about your own Rogers 'experience'. I don't judge.

By the way... the TD Bank wants me to come into their bank with my wife this weekend, but the person my wife talked to today (Tuesday) refused to properly explain to her why.... I'm the principle on the second Visa card (I also have one with CIBC that I use solely), but that was because my wife couldn't get one on her own. She's maxed out, but still makes the minimum payment on it monthly - sometimes late admittedly, but always pays it... and the line of credit we have with TD Bank.
So... I'm wondering if I'll have another tale to tell shortly. 
You can read about the fun myself and others have had with the CIBC HERE.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Not Finding Supernatural On TV

Do you know what I hate?

It's not finding my favorite show on TV - Supernatural... specifically Season 10 in Ontario, Canada.

Considering its stars practically live in Vancouver nine months of the year while it has been filming for lo these past 10 years, you think someone in Ontario would pick it up and broadcast it!

CHCH out of Hamilton had done that the previously bunch of years - but no longer.

What's a loyal viewer to do?

All one can do is Bay to the Pirate gods a day after the show is to have aired and thank the lucky gods that some Americans think enough to share it - or so I hear.

I wouldn't know.

Do you know what I hate?

It's not finding my favorite show on TV - Supernatural.

Monday, May 26, 2014

Illogical Logic

Do you know what I hate?

Illogical logic.

So… how's your week going?

Mine's mostly meh, but it's because it's neither good nor bad.

Although my son may not be playing soccer this year, owing to baseball commitments, I will once again help out with a soccer team as an assistant coach in an effort to even out the nice left-arm of the sunglasses tan I have on my face right now thanks to a mere 40 minutes out at a local batting cage this past weekend.

I can only imagine what some of you folks with a pale complexion, like my wife, must be dealing with.

But it's not all rosy me.

For those of you who know or maybe even care, I spend most of my creative writing time putting out a daily blog called "Japan—It's A Wonderful Rife" for… hmm… coming up to the five year anniversary in a few months time.

It was originally done to be a somewhat chronological diary that would showcase the 88 or so comedic columns I wrote about my three-year stay in Japan between 1990-1993 while a junior high school English teacher on the JET (Japan Exchange & Teaching) Programme.

I actually open the blog with the weird statement: "I didn't want to go to Japan. To be perfectly frank, I was just trying to get laid."

I explain how I was a near-26-year-old virgin that had never left home before despite seven years of post-secondary education, and that I rarely had a woman smile at me (still a concern as the years go by), nor had any knowledge of how to look after myself as I had never cooked, cleaned, done laundry or gone shopping before… I might have gone shopping once or twice with the boys in preparation of a camping trip. I'm pretty sure a couple of women somewhere have smiled at me as I walked away.

By the way… you know how they say that every camping trip always has one guy who snores like a jet plane with asthma? Don't you believe it! And while I won't speak for my fellow happy campers, I've always had a nice, peaceful sleep.

You see… that's the sort of self-deprecating humor I use.

Right from day one, I utilize that same style of "let's poke fun of others" but "make sure you poke fun at yourself" kind of writing. The point that is evident to people with a sense of humor and a functional brain is that everyone is the same, but different.

In Japan, I did learn how to do all the little things, as I suppose I learned them all through osmosis by watching my parents all those years... and despite trial and error, I did learn how to grow up and as a child of the 1960s am still learning how to grow up on a daily basis.

I don't think the Japanese people are any different than anyone else… they live, love, laugh, hate, work, have family, eat, play, have sex and die - hopefully not in that order. Yeah, politics and religion and other crap is part of the equation, but all in all, aside from different circumstances, they are the same as everyone else.

It's that attitude that made surviving Japan a pretty simple experience for me - regardless of how frustratingly difficult or easy or was on a daily basis.

Anyhow… I'm not sure when or why I decided to deviate from merely writing out the funny stuff about Japan to offer news or features or essays or opinion pieces on everything from art, social stuff, history, geography, religion, war, to the sights, the sounds, the smells of Japan, but I also decided to offer up my daily diary… which can get downright sexy, and thus increasingly nauseating for those of you with more puritanical tastes than myself.

It's all pretty funny.

It's about MY evolution… as a person… where yeah, I come off looking and sounding like a complete egotistical ass clown, because in hindsight, that's how I see myself 20 years removed… but of course, back then, everyone else was wrong and I was right.

I make no apologies for my past life's ass-ness. I admit it. I see it. I don't revel in it, and if it appears as though I do, you can be pretty damn sure it's me and my sense of humor.

Apparently I have one. I have proof!

When I left EB Games (a video game store chain store) at Sherway Gardens in Toronto yesterday with my son, the clerk thanked me for the laughs… you know, because I actually talked to him as a person - something I actually do quite often at places I walk into…. it's why any store I frequent more than once - they know who I am... and even if it's not true, it sure seems like I get that special service that makes me feel special. (I like to believe that the folks I deal with are actually nice staff, and treat everyone that way whether they deserve it or not.)

Anyhow… here's a poor segue... I sometimes put out these blogs that deal with sex.

I try to be fair and present the facts or the fallacies and when I say I don't know something, I'm pretty straightforward about it, but since this is also MY blog, if I say something, it's because that is what I know… though I will preface it by stating it's not necessarily the gospel truth, just the facts as I know them to be.

I have often gone through multiple, multiple sources of information, each one conflicting the other in an effort to provide a one-stop-shop of factual information… I've spent 20 hours researching some of these blogs, and almost as long writing one or two of them, just because I want to give my best effort with the best information possible.

If you care to read it, I care to provide good, honest information.

So I wrote an article entitled: Why Japanese Women Like Gaijin (Foreign) Men, sort of as a companion piece as to why Japanese Men Like Gaijin Women.

I explained the pro's and con's to the best of my ability.

I am extremely self-deprecating in this article:

"I did okay considering my fair to middling looks... and yet, of all those opportunities, only once did I ask a woman out.

Every other time... I was asked out by the women. Both gaijin and Japanese women."


Or, how about this one:

"I thought - for the first time in my life - that I was hot sh!t. Of course... by the time I got to Japan at the age of 25, I was still a virgin. So, hot or not, I still had that problem filling me with self-doubt every time I looked at a woman."

And so…  I always find it amusing when I get hate mail accusing me of being a sex addict or disgusting misogynist pervert.

Here's such a comment that I received on Monday, May 26, 2014. I'll leave the typos in, because fug… typos are typos… everyone makes them.

"An intersting testimony, but the way you speak about yourself is disgusting.
A kind of overconfident sex addicted. After having watched a few Bollywood film, i think it's a comon for people of your ethnicity. Males chauvinis thinking to be wonderful. I see it with people from India being financialy succesful in the US. Such arrogant and unfriendly people.
Neverless looking to the scholl programms in the USA and Canda compared to Europe you are all under educated."


So… the story I wrote is interesting, but apparently because I am perceived to be someone who can easily talk about sex and enjoys sex, I am disgusting, which helps explain why over 1-billion people from India are arrogant and unfriendly.

I love stuff like this…

Okay… I can't resist. TYpos:

  • 'intersting' should be 'interesting';
  • 'comon' should be 'common';
  • 'chauvinis' should be 'chauvinist';
  • 'financialy' should be 'financially';
  • 'sucessful' should be 'successful';
  • 'Neverless' should be 'Nevertheless';
  • 'scholl' should be 'school';
  • 'programms' should be 'programs' or 'programmes';
  • 'Canda' should be 'Canada'.

Not bad… only nine typos, which I hope are typos, otherwise our scholl system am in dyer straights.

Well... maybe not Canada's. Every kid is forced to be able to read the back and understand the back of a hockey card by the time they are 24-months-old. 

So… should I be concerned about this Anonymous commentator's racist comments and generalizations?

No, not really… it's a free country… or at least I assume he or she is from a 'free-country'… and everyone is entitled to their opinion and everyone's opinion is correct, even if they aren't correct. That's why they are called opinions and not unadulterated facts.

Do you think the person writing in realized they were racist by damning all people from India as arrogant and unfriendly merely because that's what he or she has come up against in their daily life of watching Indian Bollywood movies?

Why watch a Bollywood movie if they hate Indians? Well, because he or she doesn't hate Indians… he or she just finds them arrogant and unfriendly.


Dude or Dudette, you should know that Indians often describe themselves as the most racist people on the planet, as they seem to hate everyone or dislike everyone who isn't of their caste or religion or from their province.

Maybe that's true, but maybe it's not. One person said that - my father did a long time ago, and I doubt he would own up to saying something like that now, but I've never taken it as the one and only truth.

To be fair, I've met a lot of arrogant and unfriendly people from a lot of countries, including: Russians, Americans, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, England, Italy, Croats, Serbia, Bosnia, Mexico, Philippines (actually, not from there), Germans (actually, not from here either)… but you get the idea… there are idiots everywhere… both arrogant and unfriendly, but I've also met so many other people from those countries and more where it's the exact opposite.

I might sometimes come across as being arrogant and unfriendly, but that might be because of a certain circumstance… but that's not who I am.

And to say that you have formed an opinion of an entire race of people from a country - these brown Caucasians - just because you've watched a few crappy movies, is quite hilarious to me.

Perhaps we should use the American media view of Indians whereby we are all clerks at a convenience store (like Apu on The Simpsons), or brainiac nerds like Raj on The Big Bang Theory, which of course doesn't explain why there are these other three brainiac white nerds on that show, if we must talk about color.

Or maybe that guy who played Kumar in those awful, but still funny Harold and Kumar flicks, or maybe that Bug guy on Crossing Jordan

Or, maybe we talk about all of the white guys who play Indian dudes in movies… like Ben Kingsley as Ghandi or that dude in Short Circuit? Yeah, I know that somewhere in his past Kingsley has some Indian blood - probably that's why he's arrogant and unfriendly.

One of my best bud's is a white guy who drives a taxi… not an arrogant and unfriendly brown guy. Who knew that there were white taxi drivers? Stereotype! Thank god, he's not brown... we wouldn't want the smell of curry from some rag head to upset people's delicate constitutions as they are being shuttled drunk from one bar to the next.

Regarding the commentator... he or she sees arrogance and unfriendliness from successful Indians in the U.S. Man or Woman... stop hanging out at those places. If you are talking about people you work with, well, not being an overly successful brown guy living in Canda, I'll defer to your knowledge on such topics.

But come on.. just because you are either too lazy or too ignorant to understand the nuances of the written English word as presented in my blogs, it's no reason to denounce an entire race anonymously.

Look… have an opinion, all you like… you'll note I haven't removed it from the blog. I don't give a sh!t.

Keep the language clean, but it would be nice if you could actually comment about the points in the article, maybe WHY you were looking for this topic (you don't just accidentally find this topic via Google, unless directed here by some other strange blog or website - and then... why would you want to read it, especially if it's being written by a guy you think is Indian. I'm Canadian, chickie-poo. Perhaps you should slam all Canadians, because my social upbringing was formed in Canda! Wahoo! Everybody get cancer and smoke weed! Yeah! Every night is hockey night! We love the fact that we get more snow in Toronto than in Buffalo and Minneapolis! We love the fact that women in Toronto are legally allowed to go topless!!! Yeah - healthcare that doesn't bankrupt people, because we put people before dollars! Yeah, let's go burn down the White House again like we did 200 years ago! Crap... can we have our Stanley Cup back, because nothing says hockey better than a team from Los Angeles winning it. Anaheim, not excepted. Wahoo! Canadians!)… but unless you want to sign your real name - and why wouldn't you? What have you got to be afraid of? - please keep your racist comments and thoughts to yourself.

Do you know what I hate?

Illogical logic.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

McDonald's Happy Meal Toys Not Always As Advertised

Do you know what I hate?

I hate that McDonald's Happy Meal toys are not always as advertised - like the toy in the photo above that is still being given away 18 months after it was first released.

I really, really hate the hit or miss aspect of the Happy Meal toys at McDonald's.

Now... let me get this out of the way... I enjoy eating the McDonald's menu here in Toronto, Canada.

I am aware that by living in Toronto, I may not be privy to such awesome golden arches fare as Japan's teriyaki burger (which is quite good - I lived in Japan for three years - read my blog about my adventures: HERE), but the rather plain-jane food I do get is good.

I can almost hear the collective gasps and sucking in of air between the teeth, as I admit to such horrendous admissions of horror.

Yeah, yeah... I don't even care what animal I'm eating, all I know is that I like the food. Although I am always a little confused when I find out that the McRib is coming back for a short period of time, as I had always believed that the animal flesh it was carved from had long since been extinct.

Strangely enough, I actually want to go to McDonald's more than my eight-year-old son, Hudson, and while he enjoys his Happy Meal, he is becoming more and more disillusioned with the great big upside down dubba-ya, as apparently not all McDonald's restaurants are created equal.

For example, while I could go on and on about various deficiencies at any particular fast food chain, the McD's in Toronto, on Dundas just west of Kipling is the one closest to me... and while I have noticed some improvement, with the manager tossing out food that was waiting too long for its companion foods (still shouldn't happen, as that costs money), the shop seems to be getting worse and worse in the way it works with children... who should be the lifesblood of its once and future kingdom.

By that, I mean... the Happy Meal, and more specifically, the Happy Meal 'toy'.

Once up on a time it came in a paperboard box - and sometimes it does - and sometimes it doesn't - and it had games and cut-outs and things to amuse the children. Sometimes it comes in a Happy meal paper bag, and there are fewer things to play with and nothing to push-out... and then it comes in the regular no-fun, non-Happy Meal paper bag.

And then there's the kid's toy.

On national television, McDonald's cheekily advertises it's kid's Happy Meal and brazenly proclaims to the clamoring rabble that "xxx" toys are available for the girls, and "yyy" toys are available for the boys... but when you finally give in to the annoying anthill mob and take the kids to McDonald's and order the Happy Meal, and are asked to verify if the meal is for a boy or a girl... rather than receive one of the six advertised toys (and I checked the availability dates), we instead get a toy, oh... let's say SpongeBob SquarePants... that the company first began giving away back in the summer of 2012.

It was a toy giveaway for SpongeBob, yes, but also for the 2012 Summer Olympics! It's 2014 and the Winter Olympics are on! Why am I still receiving this bullcrap toy??!!  

And they continue to give them away at this restaurant because ordering in a butt-load of kid's toys once in 2012 is a whole lot easier than ordering in the latest kid's toys in smaller amounts every few weeks... because who needs to make kid's happy when all you need to do is provide convenient food in a timely manner - sometimes making people (like me) wait over 10 minutes for a kid's Happy Meal (hamburger, fries, yogurt, chocolate milk), a Big Mac sandwich, and a Angus Burger (bacon & cheese) meal (with a Coke)... having to make the Happy Meal twice because it was sitting out on the counter (not even under a heat lamp)...

... and while the manager did say sorry for the wait (thank-you), there was no "thank-you and here's a coupon for a free small fries for your next visit" - which ensures that there will be a next and then having to go home and discover that the kid's toy is from the 2012 Summer Olympics SpongeBob SquarePants set of 16.

A set of 16? The Olympics were on for what 21 days? Do they expect parents to take their kids to McDonald's 16 times to get the whole set?

If I do that, my kid will never make an Olympic team!

What is even more sad is that the 2014 Winter Olympics are on now. What the hell do we want with a kayaking summer Olympic toy in February of 2014? We don't.

My kid is so disgusted. We have agreed to never go to that McDonald's again, and will gladly drive the extra distance to a McDonald's that actually offers the toy that is being advertised nationally.

Again... I am aware that McDonald's is franchised... but the head office needs to get a better grip on some of its representatives.

I am tired - and so is my son - of receiving crap.

I am aware that you - McDonald's - state that the toys are at participating McDonald's in teeny-tiny letters on your television adverts, but that is still not good enough.


It is still the illegal practice of "bait and switch", and it sucks.

You don't even want to know how many times my kid has been stuck with one of these LEFTOVER toys - and they are leftovers! - the money I've wasted because he wants a particular toy, only to discover we;ve been ripped off again... or it it still... whatever.

I guess not all McDonald's restaurants are not created equally. 

Hey - I know you give out good toys with the happy meal, like the Batman glasses:
I look like I'm constipated, but these McDonald's Batman glasses are dynamic.
... and the new LEGO Movie lenticular cups such as this that change images:
All cats are evil.
But... that's because I can't trust the McDonald's near me to get my order correct, get it to me in a timely fashion, or to provide my kid with a truly happy meal.

Because... let me tell you... there is nothing worse for a parent than having to placate an upset kid who was supposed to get a Happy Meal and a toy he saw advertised on television. If you can't trust television...

For the record... I like the McDonald's at Bloor and Markland in west Etobicoke. They never screw around with a kid's happiness re: toys.

Do you know what I hate?

I hate that McDonald's Happy Meal toys are not always as advertised.