I hate people who mispronounce words. Well, more than that, I suppose, I hate the mispronounced words.
I'm not angry at people who are ignorant over the pronunciation of words - hell, we've all done that, and not everyone has learnt every single word in the dictionary...
I'm also not talking about dialects where people might say "y'all" rather than "you all", or people learning English as a second language who might instead of saying "loved" will say "lov-ved". That's just the way things are. However... there are some people who moider (murder) the English language. There are people who say terlet instead of toy-let (toilet); toy-del in stead of ter-dle (turtle), and warsh instead of wash. It's not Warshington (DC or State) - it's Washington (DC or State)! My father in-law used to say terlet and warsh, and while it's a colloquialism, it's something that shouldn't be.
But what really grinds my gears are the common words that common people say incorrectly.
Words such as:
- Axe. As in I want to axe you a question. Okay, you may - but please don't chop me into little pieces. I suppose the word 'axe' is okay, as it's obvious some people are intent on butchering the English language. The word is 'ask'.
- Whensday. This is a pet peeve of mine. It's pronounced Wed-nes-day (Wednesday). Three effing syllables.
- Febuary. Another pet peeve. It's got four - count'em - four syllables: and it actually has an additional 'r' in it. February. Fe-brew-air-e. Say the syllables!
- Supposebly. Are people dyslexic? That 'b" is actually written as the letter "d"! Suppos-ed-lee (supposedly).
- Pisghetti. What are you four years old? It's spaghetti! Say it, you kindergarten drop-out!
- Youse. It's pronounced "you" or "u" unless you are part of an Italian men's business club in New Jersey, in which case it's okay, and there is no such thing as the Maffia.
- Spadina. For those of you in the Toronto area where I am from... there's a street and a subway station called 'Spadina'. There are about six people in this whole city of 3-million who actually say 'Spadina' correctly. It is NOT 'spa-die-nah' The proper way to pronounce it is: 'spa-dean-ah'.
- Sang-gwitch. If I owned a deli and someone asked me for a 'sang-gwitch', you would starve and I would be bankrupt... but it would be worth it. It's pronounced 'san-dwitch' (sandwich).
- Artic. This word bothers me, but only to a slightly lesser degree than the ones listed above. People tend to pronounce it 'are-tick' rather than the correct way of 'ark-tick'(Arctic). But unless your day job involves the hunting of polar bears, it's not likely a common component of your everyday speech.
- For you penguin chasers, the word 'Ant-are-tick' is pronounced 'Ann-tar-tick' (Antarctic).
Look... I'm not saying I'm perfect. I moidalize the word water, substituting the letter 't with a 'd'... and pronounced it 'wah-dur' rather than 'wah-tur' but that is a Toronto dialect... and it's better than saying 'waaa-dur' and even then, this Toronto dialect of mine is close to the gold standard of English accents. It's known as a "neutral accent", and it's a big reason why the Japan Exchange & Teaching (JET) Programme chose me to go to Japan to teach English as an AET (assistant English teacher).
Oh yeah... we also say Toe-ron-oh (Toronto) rather than Toe-ronn-toe. Dialect! We know you are from out of town when you pronounce more than one 't'.
Lastly... my wife's name is pronounced 'ray-bee' not 'ra-bee'. Get it right. It's someone's name!
There! Now youse is educated.
Do you have a pet peeve regarding fairly common word mispronunciation? I'd love to know!
Do you know what I hate? Mispronounced words.
Andrew Joseph
