People Who Lie

Do you know what I hate?
Quite simply, people who lie.
There is no worse feeling in the world than finding out you have been lied to (actually the worst feeling is being lied to by someone you trust). You just feel dirty... like you need to take a long hot shower.
I recently had this happen to me. I actually caught the person in the lie - and they denied it. They denied it again and did so once more in the most vehement manner - so much so that you begin to doubt if you should be acting out this morality play.
But that's where the opportunity lies for you. It's where I would pull out the hammer.
The important thing when trying to capture someone in their own web of deceit is to feign ignorance. Ignorance that you know something the liar doesn't - that you are on to them. The bored look is a nice one to pull - especially if you can take the twinkle from your eyes and deaden them.
Next, it is also important you lie too - to add some obfuscation to the mix. This makes the liar confused as they thought they had dotted all the "i's" and crossed all the "t's".
The liar will then attempt to spin a few more quick lies to cover up the purported hole in their original plan. And, if you aren't careful, these new lies can seem like the truth thereby placating you.
But, as long as you have trust issues, this is where you can begin to look for ways to tighten the noose.
In a recent episode of bare-faced lying by someone I had long had serious misgivings about, I set the trap to catch them in the newer lie in order to make them stop doing something hurtful towards myself and my family. The galling thing for me was that this person had bragged to all her friends - so they knew I was being played the fool. And I was the fool... I knew the hurtful games would start up again - just not a week later!
The lie was done in order to fulfill some much needed self-gratification - at the expense of me and my family. But, while I may sort of believe that people are good deep down inside, I also know that leopards can't change their spots without a plethora of psychoanalysis sessions - and even then, I'm always going to have that nagging doubt in the back of head.
Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you - plus I might try to make your life a living hell...
If you already have misgivings with any future endeavors with the old liar, continue to search for evidence to prove yourself right. Once you have caught someone in a lie, it continues to get easier and easier as you begin to see the liar continue to try and use maneuvers they have previous utilized.
Victory over the liar usually comes quicker and more easily than the first encounter.
Now... while victory is significant, lets not forget the childishly important Living Hell revenge factor.
The Living Hell component is the revenge factor, but it's also much more than that... it's to make a person feel so bad about their own selfishness that they will never lie again.
As an added bonus, you are allowed to feel smug at your superiority in life.
You know what I hate?
People who lie.

People Who Say Happy Holidays

You know what I hate? People who say 'Happy Holidays' when they should be saying 'Merry Christmas!'
It's not Happy Holidays! It's Merry Christmas! And, should you be so inclined, you can also add: Have a Happy New Year!

Granted not everyone celebrates Christmas - and it's perfectly fine to say Happy Hannukah to your Jewish friends (though Hannukah is over)or Happy Kwanza to those that celebrate Kwanza.

But here in Canada and in the U.S. (and other western societies), our countries were based upon Christian ideals. Yes, our countries should have religious tolerance - that's what makes our countries stand-out in a good way. But, we shouldn't have to lose our own cultural identity just so we don't offend others.
Really... what's wrong with saying Merry Christmas? I'm a Canadian born in England of India(n) descent. I'm Catholic. Christian in the bigger scale of things. And so is Canada. We have 'God save the Queen' all over our money - and money makes the world go round. The US says 'In God we trust' all over their moolah! In Canada, we believe in god. And, in this case, Canada's god is a Christian god.
We should be able to say Merry Christmas to whomever we want. If you find that offensive because you don't celebrate Christmas, tell us. Or, better yet, tell us but also remember to wish us a Merry Christmas, too. Most of us so-called Christians aren't idiots. We will gladly wish you on whatever holiday it is you are celebrating.
The term 'Merry Christmas' is NOT meant as an offensive phrase. It's a Canadian holiday. If it really bothers you, should you really be in a Christian country?
Canadians (speaking for MY country) we love to learn new things. Invite us out to a Bar Mitzvah! Invite us out for D'iwalli. Whatever. we like to have fun, and if we should learn something about your culture or religion - great!
But there is no reason why Canadians or Americans (et al) should feel bad about saying Merry Christmas.
And none of that X-mas crap, either. It's Christmas and you should all have a Merry Christmas!
If you don't like it, too bad. This is Canada. Get used to it. Try fitting in to Canadian social customs for a change!
Growing up in the 70s as a visible minority here in Canada, we had to fit in. People like me (and a ton of others before me), we took a lot of crap from a lot of bigots to be where we are today. Accepted as Canadians. Don't friggin' screw it up. Wish someone a Merry Christmas even if you are a Sikh, a Muslim, a Buddhist, a Wiccan or an Atheist. Whatever. It's a Canadian holiday. Don't ruin it for the rest of us who do want to celebrate Christmas!
Have you ever heard the old saying: "When in Rome, do as the Romans do"? This is Canada. When in Canada, do as the Canadians do and have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
I probably shouldn't have written this at 2:45 in the AM - but it's been ticking me off for a long while now.
You know what I hate? People who say 'Happy Holidays'.

Clothes Snobs

You know what I hate? Clothes snobs.
I work in an office environment, and every day I wear a pair of dress pants, a dress shirt, dress shoes (my underwear, while nice, is not dressy) and dress socks.
In other words, I try to fit in. Often, I am one of the few people to always wear dress clothes everyday. Now I'm not complaining about the so-called dress-down Fridays - I wear jeans and a decent shirt... but some people dress in jeans and a the--shirt everyday... and that's fine... if they can wear it and their bosses don't care... that's their prerogative.
Now... a couple of weeks ago, I was asked to go to a meeting where a prospective client was coming in to chat with a bunch of us editors. Fine. I know the drill. Dres up and look like you care. I was going to do that as a matter of course.
My boss, however, actually came up to me to ask if I had a suit. Holy crap. That's rude. Number one... what if I didn't have a suit? Was I expected to go out and buy one for a stupid meeting. I don't know about you, but I don't get paid a lot of money - in fact, I make a bout $10,000 less than I made 16 years ago... but I actually enjoy my job now.
Number two... my boss obviously doesn't think very highly of me if he doesn't believe I would dress up for a client.
Truthfully... I have a suit. I have a few suits. And, I look good in them. The problem is that on a day-to-day basis, why would I want to wear a suit to work and actually look better than the bosses and everyone else? These jokers have suits, but few actually know how to look good.
Hmmm... I suppose that makes me a clothes snob... still, to insult someone to their face about their clothing... well...
You know what I hate?
I hate clothes snobs.

Hyphen-Canadians

You know what I hate? It's hyphen-Canadians, though I suppose you could make a pitch for whatever nationality you wish.
What is a hyphen-Canadian? It's someone who says they are: Italian-Canadian; Indian-Canadian; German-Canadian even French-Canadian... or again, pick your country and add a hyphen before Canadian.
It's someone who is afraid to be simply a Canadian.
To me, that's just wrong.
I love Canada. As a visible minority, people often look at me and see everything except that I am Canadian. It's why when I am asked what I am, I always say I am a Canadian.
I was born in England to Indian (dot not the feather) parents, but moved to Canada when I was still three-years-old. As such, I have little in common with England - except I love Monty Python, British humour in general and have a respect for the monarchy. I also love football (soccer) and cheer for them in the World Cup.
India? While I may look like I'm from India, I've never been there. I don't speak any of the dialects or languages. I don't really hate or love the cuisine.
I am not Indian or English, no matter how hard I try or am told I am.
I am Canadian.
And perhaps because of that, I hate people who say they are Canadian but add the hyphen.
I know many people who have, when asked, state they are "Italian-Canadian", as an example. Really? Were you born there? No, they tell me. Where were you born? Canada.
Okay... but what is always the most damning thing is when I ask if they have ever been to their supposed country of origin, and they tell me "No." So how the fargging hell are you Italian or Hungarian or Dutch or Japanese?
It's like people are afraid to admit they are Canadian! It pisses me off!
The United States of America - love it or hate it - may have a lot of countries around the world hate it - but I'll tell you one thing... they are Americans first and foremost. And for that, they have my utmost respect.
Okay... the U.S. does try and differentiate itself with the African-American moniker, just like Canada has French-Canadians... but I hate the African-American term. It presupposes that all Blacks in the U.S. are African.
Don't give me that crap that Blacks are at one point in time from Africa, because by that same token, everyone on the planet is originally from Africa... unless you are a Creationist - and I'm sure you have an explanation - please share... I'd like to learn.
But really, no Black American when asked what nationality they are is going to say they are African-American - they will answer with pride that they are American!
The Japanese are proud of their country. The Germans and French are too.
Why not Canadians? Why do we have to be stupid hyphen-Canadians?
Canada has long been called a melting pot, where people from other countries are welcome. And Canada is like that, but it sure isn't a melting pot! This melting pot doesn't actually have a lot of melting going on.
I'm unsure who created the term "Hyphen-Canadian" - it could have been me, I've been using it for 30 years to bitch about people afraid to be Canadian, but it wasn't.
You know what I hate?
Hyphen-Canadians

Weathermen

Over-compensating or what...

You know what I hate?
I hate weathermen. Weatherwomen. Weathergirls. Weatherboys. Meteorologists. Whether or not it’s going to rain or not.
Hmm… I just got that… weather and whether.
A typical weekday has me getting up early to get my son ready for daycare and senior kindergarten… and of course me ready for work, which is a form of kindergarten.
Because it’s Autumn, I like to check the weather to see how he and I should be dressed.
I flick on CP24, a Toronto all-day news station and lo and behold – they say it’s going to rain. I flip to the Weather Network (because well, the network is all about weather - it's the one thing they are supposed to do well) and that today's Toronto forecast is cloudy – but no rain!
Who's right? Who's wrong?
How does one dress? It’s supposed to be 18C – so it’s not exactly freezing! But do I need to dress my boy in a raincoat and rain boots – meaning he’ll be safe from the wet stuff; or do I dress him as though it’s a warmish day, running shoes and no rain coat… so he can run around at recess and have fun?
I chose the latter… it’s the Weather Network, after all.
After dropping him off at daycare, I head home and prep for a trip I need to make for a magazine interview – which is lucky, otherwise I’d drop him off and immediately head for work in downtown Toronto.
With an hour before I need to leave, it begins as I arrive back from the daycare. And not just a spit or dribble, but a full deluge that would have had Noah shaking in his sandals.
So… how can the Weather Network get the weather so wrong? I go back in and check the station… they are STILL showing it to be a rain-free day, even while I am toweling off.
Because I had some time today, I was still able to drive back to my son’s daycare with the appropriate clothing and footwear – no thanks to the weathermen.
You know…  should I actually be so inept at my job – being incorrect several times a week, I’d be fired and be looking for work in a new profession! How do these so-called weather professionals keep their job? Is it going to rain or not? Is it raining or not? If I stick my head out the window, chances are pretty good I can tell if it’s raining at this very moment or not.
I’ve watched the weather on these two stations repeatedly – no one is more correct than the other…. Though both have managed to get it completely wrong at the same time.
I know weather prediction is not an exact science – but what science are they using? My slightly arthritic knee is a more accurate predictor of rain than whatever doppler radar system used by the so-called professionals.
So… even while weathermen (and women) have a 50:50 chance of being correct, or conversely incorrect, it’s still a better percentage (okay - ratio!) than say a baseball player: hitters are gods if they succeed 30 per cent of the time, while a pitcher must succeed about 75 per cent of the time – not that has anything to do with anything.
But it does make me wish I had a job where I only need to be accurate 50 per cent of the time – and NOT get called onto the wet carpet should I not even make that percentage.

You know what I hate? Phony-baloney weather people who can’t even tell me if it’s going to rain – even when it’s raining.

People Who Say I Look Like Someone Else

You know what I hate? People who say I look like someone else.

In my early 20's when I had longer hair, people used to say I looked like actor Jeff Goldblum, a goofy-looking guy and movie star, to be sure, but at least he was married to mega hot-babe, Geena Davis. I guess I didn't mind that one so much - at least people were looking. 

But  - for the past 10 years, after putting on some weight and cutting the long hair, I frequently have people coming up to me and telling me I look like someone else - movie star, comedian and deceased, Rodney Dangerfield.

Right. I look like a dead, white, 72-year-old, stocky, Jewish comedian. I tell ya, I get no respect. No respect at all.

People says it's either my eyes (I have wacky screwed up, bulgy eyes? No!) or it's my mannerism (what, am I always shaking my leg and tugging at my shirt collar? No!). Regardless of why, it ticks me off.

What gives people the right to say stuff like that to me? Do I invite ridicule? No! Perhaps if I was told I looked similar to pretty-boy Brad Pitt, I wouldn't take such offense, but Rappin' Rodney?  

I'm not saying people are right or wrong in their assessment of my looks and collar tugging - I'm just asking what ever happened to people minding their own damn business? Do people say whatever is on their damn mind, regardless of the consequences? My blogs, not withstanding, of course.

I don't go out of my way to tell people they look like someone else. I'm Andrew, dammit. I look like friggin' Andrew! What gives complete strangers the right to come up to me and tell me that I look like someone else? Nothing does. Boundaries, people. Boundaries. Remember, if you can't say something nice about a specific person, say nothing at all.

You know what I hate?  

People... well, yes, people, but specifically people who say I look like someone else. 

Drifters

No... I''m not talking about those folks who drift from job-to-job and town-to-town killing people - or even those who don't do me any favours like David (my real name is Bruce) Banner (the Hulk) and Canada's Littlest Hobo (London the dog) who go around helping people - but not me.

Rather, I'm talking about that person who when walking on the sidewalk, drifts as though the wind was blowing them hither and yon. I'm talking about the drifter who can't walk a straight line. 

Every single stinking day, I have ---dare I say it? - WOMEN who are unable to walk straight . Maybe there are guys who do this, but in all honesty, I've not been cut off by one. Women... feel free to rebut.

For women, I know that (actually, I'm assuming) that it's tough to walk in heels or move with skirts that bind you at the thigh... and sure, no one really wants to walk on a grate (I'm assuming heels, again)... I'm actually aware of these things and do NOT take offense when you suddenly swerve into my walking path without caring who's behind or beside you.

It's when there's nothing underfoot and you still can't walk straight! Aaaaghgh! Yes, I'm a quick walker. And yes, perhaps I could sneak up on you. If you were a deaf wombat. But have a care! 

A few years ago on Boxing Day here in Toronto, we had a shooting right at one of the busiest shopping areas in the country. One of the accused shooters - I believe now found guilty - complained that if people were street smarter, no one would have got hurt.

He's an idiot, but I see his point. Gunshots? Duck. Don't go running - you might get hit by the idiots shooting at other idiots. 

Relative to this blog: I guess what he is saying (and me, too), is that people need to be aware of their surroundings. 

If you would like to have a nice casual walk to wherever you are la-di-dah-ing, you still have to be aware of your surroundings. You have to be street smart. Walk straight. If you have to avoid a grate... well, they don't just randomly pop up. You can see them well in advance... take a look around - make sure you aren't going to cut anyone off behind or beside you and proceed when clear.

To me, it's obvious which of you walkers actually have a driver's license. Drive as you walk? Walk as you drive. Defensively. And straight!

I hate people who don't walk straight. Drifters.