There is so much I want to do - want to try - but I can't. Or worse, won't. Whether it's because I have 'responsibilities' as a family man or as an adult, or because I think I'm too old, or because I'm too afraid of failing, I don't do what I think I should be doing or even what I think I might enjoy doing. So I do nothing.
"To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Or to take up arms against a sea of troubles, and thus by opposing, end them."
Shakespeare got it right. All the fear and self doubt is inside of me - you - all of us. It's why Hamlet spaketh in a soliloquy. It's our own inner demons that haunt and battle us the most. There's a reason I used that quote to introduce my 'hateful' blog at the very top.
They say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. But in my mind, it either puts you in a hospital or six-feet under. I can't afford to do that. It could also shatter my fragile egg-shell mind. And all of the King's horses...
I really want to perform a 40-minute one-man show I created after attending a comedy writing workshop back in February... but I'm afraid to fail. I lack self-confidence.
I hate not having self-confidence.
