About Me

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Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Andrew was born in London, UK, raised in Toronto, Canada, and cavorted in Ohtawara, Japan for three years. He is married, has a son, a cat named Freddy and a dog named Shaggy (after the dudes in Scooby-Doo). He has over 35,000 comic books and a plethora of pioneer aviation-related tobacco and sports cards and likes to build LEGO dioramas. Along with writing for a monthly industrial magazine, he also writes comic books and hates writing in the 3rd person. He also hates having to write this crap that no one will ever read. He also writes an aviation blog: Pioneers Of Aviation ( https://av8rblog.wordpress.com/ ) - a cool blog on early fliers. He also wants to do more writing - for money, though. Help him out so he can stop talking in the 3rd person.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Not Having Self-Confidence

Looking at the title of today's entry and then looking at those of you who know me, I know you're scratching your head in shock - shock that I think I lack self-confidence - but I do.

There is so much I want to do - want to try - but I can't. Or worse, won't. Whether it's because I have 'responsibilities' as a family man or as an adult, or because I think I'm too old, or because I'm too afraid of failing, I don't do what I think I should be doing or even what I think I might enjoy doing. So I do nothing.

"To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Or to take up arms against a sea of troubles, and thus by opposing, end them."

Shakespeare got it right. All the fear and self doubt is inside of me - you - all of us. It's why Hamlet spaketh in a soliloquy. It's our own inner demons that haunt and battle us the most. There's a reason I used that quote to introduce my 'hateful' blog at the very top.

They say what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. But in my mind, it either puts you in a hospital or six-feet under. I can't afford to do that.  It could also shatter my fragile egg-shell mind. And all of the King's horses...

I really want to perform a 40-minute one-man show I created after attending a comedy writing workshop back in February... but I'm afraid to fail. I lack self-confidence. 

I hate not having self-confidence.
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4 comments:

  1. You, Me & ReligionAugust 27, 2010 at 5:35 PM

    what if you taped it and put it on youtube? Get some feedback, and then go forward & take it to a stage in front of a live audience. Might be a good first step?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Andrew JosephAugust 29, 2010 at 12:30 AM

    I'll be perfectly honest... I have NO idea how to add a video to You Tube, nor how to create a video. Personally, I'd rather my performance be as good as it could be before having the world laugh at me. Of course... I could just be making excuses.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You, Me & ReligionAugust 29, 2010 at 2:09 PM

    yeah I have no idea either.
    Although if you could figure out how to tape it and get it on youtube, and you get negative feedback, you could always say "lighten up people, it was only a joke,a gag. It wasn't real. I was trying to be bad"
    You will be crushed inside but will pick up the pieces & move on!
    However if you get positive feedback, well then, you go for it!
    OR you could just GO FOR IT anyways!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Rachel ColeSeptember 4, 2010 at 11:01 PM

    Do it!! I'll be in the audience cheering you on :0)

    ReplyDelete

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